Raising Awareness of LGBT people’s experience of domestic abuse

Ill health and Domestic Abuse

Ill health and Domestic Abuse

Illness can cause tension, stress and other problems in a relationship but it does not cause domestic abuse.

Serious illnesses (eg HIV/AIDS, Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, Alzheimer’s, etc) can cause tension, stress and a range of other problems within a relationship but they do not cause domestic abuse. An abusive partner (or ex-partner) will choose tools of abuse and control, and their or their partners’ health can be used as one of these tools.

In some cases of domestic abuse the abusive partner is the one with the illness while in others it is the one without the illness that is abusive. Many of the forms of abuse discussed in the ‘types of abuse’ section may exist, however there are a number of forms of domestic abuse that are specific to situations where either or both partners have a serious illness.

If the abusive partner does not have a serious illness they may:

  • Threaten to, or actually, disclose their partner’s health status to friends, family or colleagues.
  • Withhold medication, treatments or access to other medical services.
  • Threaten to cut off support or to leave.
  • Verbally abuse their partner by saying they are ‘diseased, sick, unclean’ or other inappropriate comments about their illness, or otherwise undermine their partner’s confidence.

If the abusive partner does have a serious illness (eg is HIV positive) they may:

  • Use guilt or other psychological abuse to manipulate their partner.
  • Refuse to take medication or seek medical services.
  • Use their illness to manipulate services, eg saying ‘I’m weak and sick, how could I control him/her?’
  • Where relevant, threaten to, or actually, infect their partner to prevent them leaving.

As sexual assault is a common form of domestic abuse, sexually transmittable infections (eg HIV, Hepatitis B) pose a special risk to the uninfected partner.

As well as the domestic abuse services which can be found in the 'Getting Help' section , there are also a range of support services listed in that section that someone with a serious illness may be able to contact.