Start a New Relationship

Starting a new relationship after domestic abuse can stir up mixed thoughts and feelings due to your experience of domestic abuse.

Eventually you may be ready to begin a new relationship. Your past experiences may impact upon your thoughts and feelings about a new relationship. You may:

Be very cautious, find it difficult to trust your new partner or be anxious that they may try to control you.
Find it difficult to share your independence within the new relationship.
It can be very useful to be cautious about your new relationship. It is also important not to let your experiences get in the way of the possibility of a positive and trusting relationship with your new partner.

There is a range of things you can do to help yourself feel comfortable in a new relationship:

Take it slowly. You have a right to have the relationship develop in a way you are comfortable with.
Stay in contact with all of the people who support you, they might be good reality checks for you.
Be clear with yourself and your new partner about what sort of behaviour you will and won’t accept.
Talk with your new partner about your experiences so they understand what you have been through.
Keep your finances and other essentials separate until you feel confident to combine them. You may decide that you don’t ever want to combine these aspects of your life.
Talk to a counsellor, either by yourself or with your new partner, about any anxieties you may be feeling.